Um.... Yeah.

Hi there.

I've kinda abandoned this blog, haven't I?

I'd love to write posts every day and such, but I can't bring myself to. It's been hard to find time to do a lot of things when I want to these days.

From the last post I wrote, I got into the Jazz Ensemble. I did improv on the whole thing and they were pretty impressed that I did that. They just wanted me to play the root note of the chord and show that I could keep a steady beat as a bassist. That's it. I have a bad habit of worrying when I shouldn't, but then again I really wanted to get in, this is college, and I didn't exactly know what he wanted.

Some more good news along with that is TNA is performing some kick ass stuff at Spring Fest. I hope someone records a HQ video of it all.

Some more good news. Aw yeah. Raining good news.

I've really slipped away from my depression. I'm not crying like I used to nor am I insulting myself or listening to those voices. I've gotten more confident, I'm not suicidal, I can understand people better, I'm understanding myself a little better, and I'm actually having days where I'll be so darn happy you'd think I won the lottery.

Speaking of which, some more good news.

My grandma left a lot of money for me. I was expexting $200, but this money is more in the thousands. Try around 5. Yeah. I didn't see that coming. All I can say is GOD IS GOOD.

Speaking of God...

I've finished my first phase of Victorious Disciples. I'm on the second phase which is a two year study. The first year is Healing for Damaged Emotions and I forgot what the second year is. Thanks to the money left behind for me I'll be able to attend the Virtuous Women's retreat and go to the Glen Cove Mansion. Aw yeah.

I can't count my blessings anymore. I was so down in the past and ready to end my life, but I chose to stay alive, improved myself, got closer to God, and now he's showing me just a small fraction of what he has in store for me. I do hope that I can tell my story to someone in the future who needs it because I can't just keep it to myself. I've been blessed so I must bless another.

I seriously never thought I could have these days where I'm smiling, happy, and I'm making others warm up to me and smile as well. I still can't believe it.

(I don't know if I'm going to keep writing in days because I mainly did that to get my sadness and anger out. It was a place to put all the negative energy into. Maybe it's time to put some positive energy in here? I really do enjoy writing here though. I just have to remember to do it. It's nice to have a place to write down everything so you can look back on it and see where you've come from; see how much you've improved. Also, the notes I write are things I want to remember. Well, the positive ones. Ones that I can give to someone else. I've been realizing some things that I should've grabbed a hold of a while ago and they should really be in this blog. Oh! I've started writing again. WARNING: There will be boy x boy rated NC-17 stuff there later. Yes. I know what I wrote. These ideas won't stop so I must write them. W knows one of the ideas and she wants me to write the scene I told her about asap. XD)