I'm really not worried about that paper anymore. I'm going to do it in sections and finish it over the weekend. Whatever the professor wants to tell me, they can tell me. A scolding is the last thing on my mind.

Ah, thanksgiving. I can't post too much about it since I haven't had it yet, but I will say I'm thankful to all of the things God has done for me. God has been there with me from the start and he'll be with me until the end. I may have always thought I was alone while I was crying and wanted to kill myself, but I always forgot that God was suffering along with me. I never thought about how much it would hurt Him to see His child crying and want to kill themselves after all the work He put into them. I'm so sorry Lord for thinking that way and I will never look down the path of suicide again.

I've had thoughts about killing myself, but I always got scared too or felt like something was holding me back. Eventually I just got angry at the thought of it one day and told myself that I've been through too much shit to want to die and leave it like that. If I died, my life would end where it was: miserable. If I kept going, I still had the power to change it. I'm truly thankful that I'm alive right now and I have the chance to pursue my dreams. I want to be a great musician. I want to be a choreographer and professional dancer. I want to be a wife, a mother, a grandmother (maybe even a great-grandmother? Haha.). I want to help those that went/are going through the same things I did/am.

Note: There's too much purpose or potential in me to remove myself from the earth. My work here isn't done yet.