Proof:

When I saw this, I was soooo happy. It made my whole day better.

Sadly when I was going to share my happiness on Facebook I saw a post that made me pretty upset. I called W earlier and during the call J called and I was hoping to have a three way and be able to talk to her since it's been a while. Only W came back saying J had work to do. I was disappointed, but fine with that. Then some time after hanging up and right when I was going to make my post on FB, I see that J had spoke to W and G. Again. As always. I've been seeing sooooo many of those posts and where am I?

Oh, hai. Just here not existing.

I remember when we had a talk a while ago and I know I don't talk to either of them that much, but if you're always talking to them and when I call it's always a fast "hey this is what's going on" convo that doesn't get past 10 minutes, then what the fuck? Yes, I'm upset because I'm supposed to be best friends with these people and here I am back where I started: feeling that J obviously prefers W over me any day. Maybe I don't know how to talk to people. Maybe I don't know how to hold a convo. Maybe I just can't connect with J. Maybe I'm just dumb. Whatever the fuck it is, I'm tired of crying about how I feel so distant from her and that I will always be below everyone else. I'm done. I don't have tears anymore. I'm sick of it. After fucking breaking down in the lecture hall early this morning, I'm done. I can't. This post is out of anger, but I have to write it because this is what I see, this is what I think, and this is how it is. FUCK.