17 October 2011 @ 00:02 | 0 comment(s) / add a comment. | back to the top.
Day 037
Sometimes I imagine scenarios when someone is talking to me and I find out how to get better. It sounds weird, but it works. It's like I separate what's going on into two voices. One voice would be my problems and the next voice is how to solve them. A lot of the time, it's hard to solve your own problems, but it's easy to give good advice to someone else. That's because you are the victim of your own problem and you're experiencing it firsthand so of course you're going to be biased about it. I'll imagine what the strong side of me or what someone else would say in order to see what to do about what I'm dealing with. Sometimes it's not as successful as I want it to be, but today it really was.

I noticed that if I always go to my homework stressed and if I don't calm down first, I'm always going to imagine them as big rocks in my path. I look at each assignment as this big boulder that I can't move. I noticed that if I compare it to something else it won't seem as big anymore. Ex.: Read 68 pages of a book for tomorrow vs. getting your skin ripped off. Yeah. That helps. It actually makes me laugh a little too. XD

I have a weird way of thinking and operating, but that's how I am and it's unchangeable. It's what makes me, me. Another thing is I've been looking at school/college as the biggest thing in my life and I've let it rule it. This is the order that things should come in:

1. Loving and taking care of myself
2. The people who love me/the things I love to do
3. Everything else

That's the way it should always be and I wasn't looking at it that way. I wasn't thinking about myself or caring about myself. I was too concerned with what everyone else thought about my grades and performance in school/college. I needed to take care of myself, love those that love me, and do what I love. If those things don't get done, I will be out of sync.

I haven't played bass like I used to and it's affecting me. I remember in high school how it would be 1:00 and I should be sleeping, but I'd be staring at my bass just itching to play it. I needed to hear those low notes. If I didn't play, I wouldn't be able to sleep. Playing bass is a part of me. If I didn't satisfy the need to play, I would get stressed, cranky, confused about everything, and more. Once I played, everything would be so much better. I feel so happy playing. I love piano too, but I am a bassist at heart and I always will be. Piano can be second. Besides, I can run and steal a bass; it's kind of hard to run with a piano. Yeah. >.>

That's it for the day. I'm feeling a little better about myself. I'll love when I get to look back on this 365 day blogging about myself thing and see how much I've grown.

Until I post again,
Kakurayami Reika


Enjoy this kaomoji throwing over a table.
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Now enjoy it throwing over a person.
(╯°□°)╯︵ (ヽ .□.)ヽ

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Why hello there. Welcome. Come by and visit this blog whenever you'd like. Pick up a phrase or two or some ideas; whatever fancies you. I'm just the writer. Take something from my words, go, and do.

My real name is of no matter. For now, we'll stick with Kakurayami Reika. Ah, may age? I'll allow you to guess. :] I live in NYC, but my mind lies elsewhere. I'm a musician and I play electric & upright bass, piano, alto saxophone, guitar, drums, and harmonica all in that order. Order of ability to play of course. I love bass the most. ♥


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