 11 July 2010 @ 02:26 | 0 comment(s) / add a comment. | back to the top.
[08 March 2010]
08 March 20107:14PM So here I am, typing this and moping around. It's not helping me get anywhere, but I'm going to lie to myself and say that it's making me feel better. I just got rejected from Girls' State. If you don't know what that is, go look it up on Google; there's a reason people invented that search engine. For some reason, when I didn't hear my name get called, it reminded me of sophomore year when I got rejected for AP U.S. History. The bitch who interviewed me for that class had these reasons: (1) your teachers didn't have anything good to say about you, (2) your teachers said that you're a hot mess, and (3) well... I can't remember what else she said. It hurt so much that I'm still trying to convince myself that it was simply a nightmare. After I walked out of the room, I burst into tears. The thing is, NONE of my teachers have ever had something bad to say about me. I was at the top of my class. When I told my AP World History teacher what she said, he looked at me like "WTF? Seriously?" If I knew what she said was false, why did I take it to heart? That's something I'd like to know as well. I guess the point here is that I'm just sick of rejection. I'm sick of hearing that my work "isn't good enough" or that others "expect more from me". I used to be in the top 10, but now I'm slowly sinking into the background. Maybe it's because I've lost my love for learning. Maybe it's because that bitch lied and messed up my world-view. Or maybe I'm just too afraid to step up to the next plate and do the work. It's torn me apart for long enough and I'm sick of it. -Graceful (K™)haotic Rocker |
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Why hello there. Welcome. Come by and visit this blog whenever you'd like. Pick up a phrase or two or some ideas; whatever fancies you. I'm just the writer. Take something from my words, go, and do.
My real name is of no matter. For now, we'll stick with Kakurayami Reika. Ah, may age? I'll allow you to guess. :] I live in NYC, but my mind lies elsewhere. I'm a musician and I play electric & upright bass, piano, alto saxophone, guitar, drums, and harmonica all in that order. Order of ability to play of course. I love bass the most. ♥ Normal | Bold | chit chat.
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